DanS42: Happy Halloween! Episode #1 of my podiobook LILITH'S LOVE is online! http://www.liliths-love.com/ep01 Plz RT! #serial #vampire #audiobook

"Here come the woman, with the look in her eye.
Raised on leather, with flesh on her mind.
Words as weapons sharper than knives,
Makes you wonder how the other half die."
--INXS, "The Devil Inside"

The light from the bonfire blazed between her and I. The fire added heat that was hardly noticeable compared to the air in the small cave which was already warm from the blistering sun that had just set. The cave did provide shelter and shade but it did little to cool us during my nightly visits.

"Who needs the light
With the darkness in your eyes
Who needs to sleep
With the stars in the sky
It's here in your soul
I want to be married
You are my sanctuary."
-- Madonna, "Sanctuary" from Bedtime Stories

Adam Stone had a good life. He lived in Phoenix, Arizona all of that life. He met his beautiful wife, Cori, over a year ago and they were married almost immediately. They only just celebrated their first anniversary a few days ago.

He had a great job. He and Cori owned and operated a small rare books store named "Ex Libris". The bookstore was a storefront to their two-story house -- the store taking most of the ground floor.

The bookstore dealt with new and used books. Hard to find volumes. The arcane and unusual. The rare and valuable. He bought and sold books, scripts, and comic books from around the world.

The comics are what he enjoyed the most. His favorite comic was that of the adventures of "Obsidian" -- in all of his outlets: "Obsidian: Defender of Darkness", "Obsidian of Canyon City", and "Obsidian and Ruby" which in the 70's introduced the Dark Avenger's beautiful sidekick Ruby; the inspiration of many a teenage wet dream for Adam as he grew up.

When Adam was young, he wanted to be Obsidian when he grew up. Battling evil with his buxom, copper-haired lover/fighter beside him. But when he grew up, he realized the closest he could come was to hands-down own the largest collection of Obsidian comics anywhere. When he came into some money, after his parents died, he turned his house into a rare books store.

He placed an ad one day for an assistant, and Cori answered the ad. At first, the relationship was professional, but the two quickly fell in love and got married. Yes, Adam had a good life once upon a time.

A year later, however, the publisher of the now "Obsidian: Dark Crusades" comics, has gone out of business. Adam received the last issue and cried practically all night long as he read the heartbreaking story of how Obsidian finally cleaned up the last of the arch-villains of Canyon City and decided to retire, and left Ruby with an unrequited love's broken heart.

It was all Adam could talk about for days, and that was driving Cori crazy because he wasn't paying attention to her. She was almost jealous.

One day, Adam woke up to the sound of the shower running. He knocked on the door for her to let him in so he could relieve himself. She didn't answer. He knocked harder and called out to her. He heard nothing but the hiss of the shower running. Then he felt the water at his feet. He looked down as the floor started to get flooded with red-tinted water.

He stepped back in shock, and then steeled himself to ram the bathroom door. He broke through and was overwhelmed when he saw Cori floating in the bathtub overflowing with bloody water; steaming hot water still spraying down onto her lifeless body. He turned away for a second as the fear and revulsion washed over him. He then came back to his senses and carefully walked across the slippery wet floor to turn off the water and pull the plug.

As the water swirled down the drain, Adam rushed to the bedroom phone to call 9-1-1. He described the situation then hung up as he waited for help. In the meantime, he found towels to soak up the water making its way onto the bedroom floor.

The paramedics found Adam sitting on the toilet, with the lid down, mumbling to himself in a dazed state. Adam was lost in his own fear, trapped in a dark place, wondering why Cori would have killed herself. When the water drained away, he saw that her wrist had been cut... the razor blade caught in the drain. That image kept flashing back to him in his mind.

He could hear paramedics say, as if in the distance through a tin-can phone, "what a mess" and "sad to see this happen" and "what must he be thinking", but worst of all, "she was dead when we arrived -- hard to tell the exact time of death -- get the coroner down here."

 

* * * * * * *
 

It was almost 2 weeks later, 13 days to be exact, before Adam opened up the bookstore to the public again. He was tired and distracted; by now he was an insomniac. He couldn't sleep, but when he did, he had nightmares about Cori. So, he ended up changing the hours that the store was open, staying open later.

That night, just after the sun set, a beautiful red-head dressed in a provocative black leather outfit that had to have been painted on walked into the store with an old book bound in black leather with gold embossed writing on the cover. She walked up to the counter he was standing behind and gently placed the book onto the countertop.

Adam had a haunting feeling that he knew the woman from somewhere but there was no mistake what book was just brought to him. He caught his breath then asked, "Is this really the 'Book of Palingenesis'?"

The woman smiled a knowing smile and sweetly replied, "Yes, and I'm willing to sell it to you... for a price. One I'm sure you are willing to pay."

"And what would that be?" he asked.

"I need you to be the next Obsidian."

His heart stopped as he realized with whom he was talking. Was he going mad? Was this really Ruby in his store, asking him to be Obsidian?

"What?!" was the first intelligent thought that he could verbalize. Then came, "Why do you want me to be Obsidian? Who am I to you?"

Her lips curled as she replied, "I know all about you, Adam Stone. I know you are the one man who knows everything about Obsidian, and me. I know you were as shocked as I was that Obsidian retired..."

"Wait a minute... just wait. Obsidian is just a comic book character. YOU are a comic-book character. This isn't happening."

She slapped him in the face. "Did that feel real enough to you? Trust me, I'm as real as you are, Adam. If that doesn't convince you, I know something you don't know that you can only reveal if you become Obsidian."

Still reeling from the sting, he cautiously asked, "What's that?"

Her face became cold, "That your wife Cori didn't kill herself. She was murdered."

"That's it. I've gone insane. 'That's right officer, a comic-book bimbo told me my wife was murdered,'" he said, mocking her.

She tried to slap him again, but he caught and held her hand fast. She smiled again and said, "Very impressive. With moves like that, you will become Obsidian easily. Listen, I don't have all night. Read this book. It will explain a lot to you. Most importantly, it will explain how I can make you Obsidian." With that she freed her wrist from his grip and started to walk towards the door. She opened the door, turned and said, "And yes, you have gone insane. That's what I like most about you, Adam." With that, she was gone, disappearing into the night.

In his business, Adam has become very familiar with the legends of many rare books. The Book of Palingenesis is the most rare of all of the apocryphal texts to ever be excluded from the canonized Bible. Legends held that a rogue Templar Knight had acquired a copy and vanished mysteriously afterwards. Tales of failed attempts to claim it before and since rival even the quests for the Holy Grail. Even a splinter group of the Spanish Inquisition claimed to have searched the globe in an attempt to find it and destroy it. In the end, it is said, they declared it to be pure myth; a fiction to be sure.

The very idea that someone, a comic book heroine at that, would just drop it off for him to skim in an evening was preposterous. Yet he picked it up and was compelled by curiosity to look through it. The binding was quite worn and weathered. The pages were not paper but very fine parchment. This was not a book to flip through casually, but gingerly and with care. It was written in English, hand-scribed and illuminated. If it were authentic, it would have been transcribed from at least a Greek source, and from an unknown language before that. The word genesis is from the ancient Greek for "birth" or "origin". The prefix palin means "back again". Put them together and you get anything from a second creation, to resurrection or reincarnation, perhaps reanimation... even vampirism. It described everything that goes against Christian dogma, save the ability of one special man. Everything that could punch a hole into the side of the world's predominant, if fractured, religion.

By the time he finished reading the ancient, hand-illuminated tome he had been given, Adam was exhausted. He fell asleep as he completed the last sentence. Shortly into his long-awaited slumber, he began to dream. He saw the whole of the Book Of Palingenesis acted out before him.

 

* * * * * * * 

"And the Earth was void and Empty
And Darkness was upon the face of the Earth
Is all of this pain so necessary?
You are my sanctuary.
Surely whoever speaks to me with the right voice
Him or her I shall follow,
As the water falls from the roof.
Silently."
-- Madonna, "Sanctuary" from Bedtime Stories

The Creation of Adam... and Lilith? The First Sin? Not the "Original Sin", but the First. Of the betrayal of Lilith by Adam, the Angels, and God Himself. What the book failed to say, unless he missed it, was just who it was exactly who committed the First Sin. Perhaps they all did, not just Lilith. That was another terrible thing that mustn't be allowed to surface. The idea that Adam was flawed was acceptable, but not the angels and God. Blasphemy and heresy, right here in his hands. So any trace of Lilith was erased from the Good Book, second runner-up Eve was promoted to matron of humanity; the church had its scapegoats, and all was right with the world.

But what happened to Lilith? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Her fury was the First, and it burned so bright even God was singed. Throughout the ages of man she continued to return, in many forms, to either help or hinder Mankind at her will. One of her happy chores was to seduce young men in their sleep, feeding on their dreams. From her we also get our nightmares, and legends of succubae and vampires.

He saw it all. He finally believed. He finally understood. He knew why the early patriarchs of the Judeo-Christian religions tried to destroy this tome. The Inquisition and Crusades may never have happened had this been found. The vampires would never have had to masquerade in the darkness. The Obsidian Order would never have been necessary.

In his dream he cried out, "My God! It's all so clear! Holy Shit! I know about it all. They'll kill me to protect the secret, unless..." Then Ruby appeared before him, in a flowing, black silk dress that almost, but not quite, revealed her shapely body, and said, "Unless you drink from me tonight. All your life you have sought out the arcane knowledge... especially those lost books of the Bible. But the Apocrypha left you hungry for more, and you thought the Book Of Palingenesis was only legend. You thought WE were only legend. Vampires are very real. We are not the foul beasts of Hollyweird. We are the Keepers of the Night. We are not all evil. Some of us champion the Innocent. Obsidian was one of us. He was killed by the Hunters, and his successor must be found. You, Adam, are to be that Dark Avenger. You have been trained since your childhood to be his successor."

He understood, "Through the comic books."

"Yes. It was the only way the secret could be kept in check this long. Permission has been granted to me by the Prince of Phoenix himself, whom you will meet soon, to make you one of us." She seemed to float nearer to him, and eventually less than an inch separated their bodies, ethereal as they were.

"What about Cori?" he asked solemnly.

"Her murder is for you to solve. For you to Avenge. Her soul will not rest without Retribution. You are the only one who can find out the Truth. Only you have the Thirst for Truth and Justice and now Vengeance that is the birthright of Obsidian."

He looked into her crystal blue eyes and asked, "But do I need the Thirst of Blood as well?"

"Vengeance is a dish best served cold," she started as she took his hand and placed it on her bosom above her heart. He felt her lifeless, cold body for the first time. She smiled and continued, "as cold as my dead heart. But even in this cold heart, there is warmth. Even in the Darkness we must live in, there is Light as long as Obsidian defends that Darkness and the Innocents it shelters. As Obsidian, you will slake your Undead Thirst only on the criminals you pursue. You will not be able to take the life of an innocent. If you find their blood spilt, it will have no hold over your Thirst, but their slayer's blood will satiate you two-fold."

"And what about you? Will you fight beside me and love me as you did the original Obsidian?" he asked moving his hand from her bosom to wrap around her and pull her closer to him. Up against him so close. The chill of her skin against his was invigorating.

"As I have fought with every Obsidian I have created down the years, my beautiful Adam." With that she kissed him. When they came up for air, she asked, "So, Adam, will you join me?"

Gasping, he gave in and said, "Yes..." and he woke up. When he realized he had been dreaming and she wasn't there, he sat up straight and the Book of Palingenesis fell from his lap. He noticed a Post-It note was attached to the cover when he picked it up that read: "My Love, I'm glad you agreed. But you must train before you are turned. You'll also need your cloak. We shall begin tonight when the sun sets again. Until then, Ruby."

 

* * * * * * *
 

The following night, she arrived as she promised, and they began a regimen of exercise and martial arts to hone his skills. He was already in fine shape, but never had formal training in defensive and lethal moves. He often mimicked the style of Obsidian from the pages of the comics, as Ruby hoped he would, so the training went quickly. But the agility and stealth he needed would not be trained easily. They would come with the power of her blood.

Night after night they worked, until finally 28 days had passed, and she believed he was ready. She presented him with the famous Cloak of Shadows. A thick, yet remarkably light hooded cloak that was pitch black in color. Light almost seemed to be sucked into it like a black hole. She set it aside, and told him, "You can put it on afterwards."

"After what," he asked.

She only smiled and walked up to him to give him a kiss; a long kiss, which ended with her moving from his lips to his neck. Soon after she bit and began to drink, he lost consciousness as he gave himself willingly.

Like fire, her blood burned down his throat, and yet he didn't mind the heat. In fact, he welcomed it. Indeed, he finally wanted something more than anything else in his life. Such as it was. With the heat -- the thick, salty liquid heat -- came understanding.

Truth. Power. Knowledge. Infinity. Mind-shattering and numbing revelations threatening to crush his puny mortal brain under its weight. The weight of everything that had happened to him, combined with her blood, cracked his psyche like an egg and fried it as if it landed on a Phoenix sidewalk in July.

As his mind fractured he became deranged with two personalities. Like all good superheroes, Obsidian has an alter-ego, which is now the mild-mannered, bookish Adam Stone. However, unlike a normal secret identity, Adam will also tend to "channel surf" through other personalities from time to time. When his psyche split in two, it wasn't a clean break; little fiddly bits splintered off. They are the little insane lapses he'll suffer and Adam knows this now. The blood has made this known to him. Or perhaps Ruby told him through their blood bond.

Either way, he can't stop it, or control it. Only his final death can hope to calm the madness. Until then, Obsidian is locked inside Adam Stone. The suffering of those around him and the evil elements in the world will draw him out, and they had best not be around when he is unleashed.

He slept all day after the Kiss, and when he awoke the next night, he found her beside him. He woke her with a kiss, and they fooled around for a bit before she told him that he would need to meet the Prince that night. He was nervous, naturally, but he tried not to let it show.

Upon presentation at Midnight, the Prince kept his word and accepted Adam Stone into his domain -- secretly hoping to meet his Dark Half soon. Little did he know how soon it would be. At the end of the introduction, an explosion was heard from outside. Ruby ran outside and Adam followed. The Prince went as well to investigate.

When the trio made it outside, they found a car had been bombed. The car had chrome spray-paint on it that read, "The Legend of Obsidian WILL DIE!" As the three discussed who might pull such a stunt, a black car without plates screeched around the corner. A window rolled down, and a shotgun loaded with phosphorus shells was fired towards Adam.

Ruby dove in front of him and took the hit full-on, completely scorching her chest to her heart. Adam screamed into the night, "NOOOoooo...!" He turned to face the Prince, bloody tears rolling down his cheeks from his eyes, which were now blazing red. In between sobs he swore, "If it is... the last thing I do... on this Earth... I will avenge her death. I will avenge Cori's death, and I pledge my services to you, my Prince. I only ask of you two things."

"Name them," the Prince said.

"First, turn around," He said, in a slightly deeper, calmer voice.

The Prince smiled, shrugged, and then turned around. After a whooshing sound, a tap came to his shoulder so he turned back around, to find a man who somehow seemed taller, or stronger, or just different, but certainly wearing a black hooded cloak that fluttered slightly in the light breeze. "The other thing," Obsidian said, "is never tell anyone my true identity."

"Absolutely. You have my word," said the Prince as he extended his hand. Obsidian started to kneel before him, but the Prince stopped him and said, "A handshake will suffice, Obsidian."

"With these powers, I could be... a Super Hero! But first..."
-- The Mask

© 2003 Daniel Shaurette

Part I: The Shining Sun, Blue Moon and the Shooting Star

Once upon a time so long ago, the sun and moon and stars shone down on the world below. All the heavens above loved Mother Earth and enjoyed their chance to shine upon her. In an immortal, beautiful dance, each took their turns in the sky with grace.

While the sun enjoyed his charge watching Mother Earth and her children, his separation from the rest of the stars gave him a loneliness he often couldn't bear. Every night, when he laid himself to rest, he found himself longing to find another star that he could love. But the field of heavenly bodies was so large and full of such beauty that he dared not to fall in love with them.

One day, the moon's dance brought her close to the sun. He was entranced with the light she shined. But she told him, "This is not my light. I am a lady of shadows. I am cold. But through your beautiful light and warmth, I too can shine."

The sun loved the moon, and was happy to give her only as much light as she wanted. He was afraid that one so fair as her might burn away if he shined too brightly on her.

As a result of their dances, she shines down on the earth the true cycles of birth, fullness of life, and then death. He died every night, just a little, for every death she had to make. But he was always happy by her return.

Every night though still brought his sleep. With every sleep was the dream of the heavens he left so long ago. One night, he saw a shooting star. It was so beautiful in his sight.

She flew so fast across the heavens that he could not catch her. In her wake, a great sadness overcame him. The moon saw this sadness and she comforted him. She reminded him kindly of the cycles of all things. She said, "Even such fleeting beauty of the shooting star shall come again."

The sun rose and slept many days. The moon too kept her monthly cycles. Times would come when the two would know each other and eclipse all light together.

Then, one night, during the rarest of blue moons, the light of the shooting star returned. The sun asked the shooting star why she raced so. She answered, "I am trying to find a home. I circle this earth, her moon, and you her sun, hoping to find a place I belong."

"Then your search is at an end," said the sun. She smiled but shook her head in despair saying, "You warm me, dear sun, and though I miss that warmth, to get too close would melt me."

The sun was once again sad, but finally understood what the moon meant about cycles. The shooting star was not just a comet, but was as eternal as the sun and moon, and must spin in her orbit, just as the moon does, and yes, just as the sun does.

Every once in a while, their eternal dances bring the three of them close, not only to each other, but to find a moment together with the earth they all love so much.

When this happens, a magical chance occurs -- every once in a blue moon -- that allows them to come together and know each other.

Part II: Mother Earth and her Children

The sun, moon, and stars revolve around Mother Earth. Though they seem so far away at times, busy with their eternal cycles, they do so to bring life and happiness to their precious, grounded Mother.

The light of the sun always rises in the morning and sets at night, setting forth a regular daily routine that never changes. His light, warmth and love are always there to enjoy. But such golden light can burn even the heartiest of souls if it is worshipped too long. More over, all the colors of the rainbow are the gift of the Sun. But even such a beautiful light should not be stared at for too long. The cold shadows of night are still needed to find the beauty of the rest of the heavens.

Sometimes the moon can be seen during the day, but truly her glow shines brightest at night. If Mother Earth or her children should fail to understand or remember the eternal cycle of life, they need only to look to the Moon. She is born monthly, out of the shadows of the night. As the Sun's light waxes over her, she reveals more of her mysteries to everyone who has eyes to see her. The fullness of her light shines the longest, and all creatures of the night bask in her glow: wolves, vampires, and lovers alike.

It is sad when her light wanes from view, but it must, for the cycle must complete and return her to shadows. All women repeat this cycle as their own internal cycle of birth, life, and death play on within them. Mother Earth and her children are eternally blessed to carry on the gifts of the Moon in her sight.

The heavens unfurl a glorious tapestry above Mother Earth to cover her and protect her. Like an expertly woven and bejeweled blanket it comforts her. The stars, planets, comets and meteor showers, all seek to provide a blueprint of order out of chaos for the Mother. But even the heavens can be frightening. The most beautiful, fleeting, and precious spectacle is that of the shooting star. Those lucky enough to even see one can make a wish upon it, and by the grace of the heavens it can come true. Even Mother Earth has been known to be hurt by shooting stars that come too close, yet even the largest craters are but a beauty mark upon her surface. Some even say that shooting stars are part of Mother Earth that simply want to find their way home to her.

All of these celestial dancers, friends, and lovers, wish to shine down upon Mother Earth. Sometimes Mother Earth looks up at her celestial kindred and she wonders about her place among them. Is she below them? Is she part of them? Why must they continue in their cosmic cycles around her, never to touch her?

"Dearest Mother, everything we do, we do for you and all of your children. With each new day comes a new chance to enjoy life and love," the Sun's warmth speaks.

The Moon beams down to say, "Sweet Lady, I can only show you the truth and bring you peace. You will know birth, joy, and death through me. These things can also bring pain, but through that pain shall come love."

The Shooting Star cries, and from the showers, the most beautiful message is given, "Beloved Mother, we are here for you, and want to give you our love. Not everything in Heaven or Earth is perfect or peaceful. Our dances are often bittersweet. But throughout everything, be it chance or destiny that casts us around, we will always be around, and so will our love for you."

I've never been one to be superstitious. Granted, being a vampire hunter has made me more aware of the supernatural forces around me. I mean the only talisman that I have, if you can call it that, is my silver ankh with the amethyst mount. But I certainly never put any credence to the stories about Friday the 13th. Too many horror movies in my misspent youth ruined my appreciation for the day.

Diary Entry for October 13, 1998

It was during my surgery that I saw him again. Earlier that morning, around 6:10 AM, I thought I saw him then, too. But surely that was just my imagination running away with me during a vulnerable time. I was worried about my surgery, but at that point I was worried more about the fact that I had been sitting in the Pre-Op Waiting Area with my wife and father since 6:00 AM.



About every five minutes, a new patient would walk in, escorted by family and loved ones. I joined their ranks, so I was not concerned. But like clockwork, not five minutes after their arrival, a nurse would show up and ask for the recent arrival. The nurse would comfort the patient and family, making sure they had everything in order. It became very grim after a while. The patient would inevitably hug and kiss their loved ones like they were parting company forever, and then they were off.



I said I saw him then. I thought he was dressed in surgery scrubs -- blue and white clothing designed to equally protect patient and staff. He came to the waiting area like the other nurses. He looked at the patient's names. Did he shift them around, I asked myself. No. Just looking. Then he walked away.



I myself was never called in. By 6:30 AM I was very worried, to say the least. Of course Katie had been nudging me for the last ten minutes, saying, "Shouldn't they have called you in by now?" and "You should ask someone what is taking so long." I tried to console her and myself whispering back, "No, it's OK. It's a hospital, they know what they are doing," and "There must be some reason I'm not in yet. Surgery isn't until eight." But after the fifth or sixth patient had been sent back, my anger overruled my concern and patience.



To Katie I whispered, "I'll be right back." To my dad I said, "I'm going to find out what is going on." I stood up and half-sprinted back around the corner to the Registration Office -- more like a closet really -- and interrupted the nurse I had checked-in with at six, who was with another patient.



I didn't want to be rude -- always my nature, even when furious -- but didn't need to disturb them. The nurse, whose name was Barbara -- which by name alone set me at ease earlier in the morning -- immediately recognized me and knew I shouldn't be there. She looked up and said, "Didn't they call you in yet?"



Relieved in the obvious security of the moment, I said, "No, and I've been waiting for half an hour."



She looked at her watch and I could see her flesh turn white. Suddenly my concern jumped into her body. She said, "I'll call back there and someone will be right up."



"Thank you," was my reassured reply.



I walked back to the waiting room and reassured Katie and Dad that all was well and I should be taken care of soon. No sooner than I had sat down did a nurse come out and horribly butcher my name as usual, "Mister Shower-ette." I frowned. I jumped up at the arrival and quickly followed her back. In my haste I forgot to even say "Goodbye" to Katie, let alone give her a last kiss. I forgot where I was, lost in my worry that I was late for a very important date.



When I caught up to the nurse, and we rounded the other corner to Pre-Op, she honestly asked me, "Where have you been?"



My heart skipped a beat -- how dare she imply this was my fault. I bit my tongue and said, sweetly, "I have been waiting in there for half an hour. Nobody ever called for me."



She responded, "Well, I’m glad we have you now. We need to get you into a gown and get you prepped." She handed me a plastic bag with "Patient’s Belongings" written on it, and inside was a gown and foot covers. She pointed me to a bathroom and said, "You can change in there. Are you wearing any jewelry?"



Feeling naked already without my wedding ring and my ankh ring around my fingers. Nor did I have my chain with its silver ankh pendant that Katie had special-made for me with an amethyst mounted in it where the loop should be. I wasn’t even wearing my watch. I sighed, "No. No jewelry."



"Good," she said. "Come on out when you are ready."



I pulled the door shut behind me and looked around the sterile environment surrounding me -- and this was only the bathroom. I put down the bag and removed my clothing, throwing it all into a chaotic pile next to the door. I pulled out the gown and put it on. I tried to find all of the straps to tie everything down properly. I put on two of the foot slippers.



I say two because they gave me three. I had to assume there was an extra in case one tore, or perhaps one was given accidentally. The idea of some other poor soul only having one bootie made me chuckle. Then a horrible thought came to me -- I had seen other patients wearing a hair net cap and wondered if I hadn’t had one of those and put it on my foot by mistake. But upon examining them, all three appeared to be identical slippers.



I put all of my clothes on top of the spare slipper in the bag and let myself out of the bathroom. A different nurse had met me outside of the door. He stopped me and said, "Let me check your straps and make sure everything is secure."



I agreed, and it was a good thing because I had apparently mismatched the straps. When he told me they were wrong, I remarked, "Sorry, I wouldn’t want to offend anyone." He laughed.



He walked me over to my bed and I laid down. I tried to get comfortable on the skinny gurney-bed. When the original nurse passed by, I asked her, "So, are we too late?"



She said, "No, don’t worry about that. We’ll have you ready in no time. I’m still not sure why you weren’t called in earlier. We were about to send someone out to get you before Barbara called back here."



"Is it possible that the arrangement of patients could have gotten switched around?" I asked.



"That could have happened, there are a lot of names out there," she confirmed.



I reflected again on that nurse that I thought swapped names around. Was it him?



Katie and Dad eventually arrived to my bedside, after another nurse finished shaving my chest, "prepping" me for surgery on my stomach.



I had precious little time to spend with Katie and my Dad. I was lucky enough that they were both allowed back to see me. Normally, only one visitor is allowed. The time waiting in the bed seemed to go by too quickly. Before I was ready, I was kissing Katie and telling her I was going to be all right.



I remember being wheeled into the O.R. I remember meeting the anesthesiologist. I remember how white the operating room was. How sanitary, and frankly, how small. I remember moving over to the operating table. I remember remarking to the nurse, "I have a very technical question for you... do you have the machine that goes *bing*?"



She must not have been a Monty Python fan because she didn't get the joke. That was OK, I decided. I was happy that she spent her life studying medicine instead of watching British comedies. The last words I remember hearing were, "I'm going to start the drip now."



Black.

White.



Suddenly, I saw everything in the room. The surgeon was working on a patient. The nurse and anesthesiologist were attending to the patient. I realized that I was the patient and that I must not have been under. I tried to speak, but no one heard me. In fact, I couldn't hear them. I bit my lip and felt no pain.



I wanted to see what they were doing to me, and that was when I began to float above my body. I looked down and was comforted to find the procedure going well. Everyone was calm and efficient. That was when I saw him. When I looked at him standing in the corner, he smiled at me.



That was when I found myself at his side. He was wearing a white trench coat that almost seemed to glow from the inside. "Don't panic," he said.



"Here I am, standing outside my body talking to you, an Angel of Death, who I hoped I wouldn't see again for a very long time, during a simple operation, and you calmly tell me not to panic?!" I said furiously.



"That's my job," he said warmly.



"It's the rest of your job that worries me," I said.



"Don't worry," he reassured. "You're not going anywhere. At least not yet."



"Then why are you here?" I calmly asked.



"To make sure everything is back in order. Did you see me earlier?" he asked.



"In the waiting room." It was half-question, half-statement.



"Yup," he smiled. "Seems you were almost sent the wrong way, and might have died undergoing the wrong surgery. I had to reorganize the names on the waiting room desk. I was about to 'remind' a nurse to come get you when you decided you had enough."



"Somehow I knew something was up, but I never imagined that you were involved," I said surprised.



"Well, after everything we've been through, and my vow to protect you, I knew how important today was. You have been given a second chance... for the umpteenth time, my friend."



"I know," I said distantly, remembering old debts. Just then, I felt pain. I looked at my angel and said, "What is that?"



"Time for you to wake up," he said as he walked away.



White.

Black.

Pain.



I woke up drowsy and extremely thirsty. I asked anyone who would listen, "Can I have a Coke?" Seemed like a logical request -- the caffeine would wake me up, while the soda would quench my horrible thirst. Everyone else just laughed. Katie and my Dad thought it was an unusual request since this past year I have not been able to drink soda because the carbonation affects my acid reflux.



Well, the surgery should have changed all that. Not that I plan to run out and become a "Coca-Cola vampire" again, but at that moment, a Coke would have hit the spot.



That was the last time I would laugh at a joke for a few days. After the surgery, it hurt to laugh, to move, and sometimes to breathe. The nurse gave me a relaxant to relieve the pain, but all that did was make me sleep. When I woke up after that, I refused to give in to the pain. No matter how it hurt, I wouldn't ask for a more sedatives. Upon reflection, I think it was because I didn't want to see my angel again.



Was it a dream? An anesthesia-induced hallucination? Or was it real? Well, judging by the previous times I've seen him, I'm sure he was real enough to be a warning.



That being said, no matter how I plan, no matter how secure my surroundings, accidents happen. Life changes, and my guardian angels may be able to help, but I can't expect them to every time.



Life is precious. Sometimes it takes Death to show us this.

© Copyright 1998 Dan Shaurette

"And in between the moon and you
The angels get a better view
Of the crumbling difference
Between wrong and right."
-- Counting Crows, from "Round Here"

 

In the beginning, there was nothing. God looked upon the nothingness and yawned. Michael, Gabriel and Lucifer looked upon the nothingness along with their angelic brethren and smiled. They knew that their God loved them and all angels in the Chorus with infinite, perfect Love. They noticed, however, that God was disturbed by something. Lucifer, loved above all, was first to ask what was troubling Him.

"My Lord, you seem preoccupied. What troubles you?" Lucifer asked.  "I'm bored, to be quite honest, Luc. Don't you ever wish there was more to do?"

Lucifer pondered with impish desires and said, "You have always provided whatever we should want. And we delight in being a part of your Celestial Chorus and bringing you joy through song. Shall we Sing for you?"   

God, confidant he had discovered the answer just then said, "Not today... I feel like singing now -- a new Word."   

Michael and Gabriel who had already donned their Choir garb in anticipation looked at each other with disappointment. Gabriel turned to Michael and said, "The last time He sang, He created us. I've got a bad feeling about this."   

Michael returned, "Nonsense, Gabe. It's probably just an experiment. You know how He is."   

Lucifer overheard the two and suggested, "My Lord, how about a grand Experiment?"

Pondering the suggestion, God asked, "Hmmm... what kind of experiment?"   

Lucifer smirked and said, "How about a change of scenery?"

God said, "I know... how about Firmament?"

With that Word, Lucifer saw the tiniest point of light in the distance.

The Lord God saw the disappointed look on his favorite Angel's face, so he cleared his throat and said, "Let There Be Light!"

With that Word, the point of light EXPLODED! In a glorious swirl of lights and colors, fire and gases took shape into stars and planets. These in turn swirled into solar systems, constellations, and galaxies. Lucifer marveled at the awesome display before him.

Michael and Gabriel stared at the diamond-sown Universe that sparkled around them. Michael said, "This is beautiful, isn't it?"

Gabriel sighed, "Sure, but I doubt he's finished."

Lucifer overheard again then asked God, "My Lord, no more marvelous thing have I witnessed than this -- is there more?"

God said, "But of course. Do you see that small blue-green planet way over there? The one revolving around that yellow sun?"

"Yes," smiled Lucifer, "that one is my favorite."

"Watch," God simply stated.

As the days passed, God, Lucifer and the whole Chorus watched as the Earth's volcanoes spewed its atmosphere, which collected into seas and oceans, dividing the quickly-greening continents.

Shortly, the first signs of Life emerged in the seas and on the land. These stationary things God called Plants and then He distinguished them among their species. Then came swimming and crawling things, which God called Animals and again named their species.

Lucifer saw large reptiles, which God called Dinosaurs, dominate the planet. Lucifer asked, "What a glorious beast -- are they to inherit this Earth?"

God only smiled and said, "It is not my will to see them survive or perish. I only want to see what interactions they will have with the rest of the Universe."

Just then, Michael saw a large chunk of rock hurtling towards the Earth and asked Gabriel, "Do you think it will strike the planet?"

Gabriel smiled, "Full impact, I would imagine."

Lucifer asked God, "Don't you want to save your Dinosaurs?"

"No," said God, "they did not sing to me. If the comet strikes and they die then that shall be their fate. But, do not give up so easily on the Earth."

Lucifer watched with his brothers as the comet slammed into the Earth, spewing dust into the air, choking the creatures of oxygen and sunlight. The planet soon became cold and forbidding.

Lucifer frowned, "Such a pity."

God did not want to see his beautiful Lucifer sad, so He decided to do something special. He said, "Look as the glaciers melt away."

Lucifer and his brothers watched a mammal evolve into the form of a Man and another into that of a Woman. God said, "To this species I will give a gift -- a Soul."

At this point, Gabriel stopped talking to Michael and asked God directly, "A Soul? What is that?"

"A spirit similar to your own," he said smiling.

Lucifer smiled as he imagined them to be like new children. Gabriel however scowled, "Do these... monkeys' souls give them Free Will like us?" Michael tried to calm Gabriel down.

God scorned Gabriel saying, "No, they do not, for they are NOT angels. But Gabriel, I resent your question. If I should desire to give them Free Will, I will!" With that, God infused the pair's souls with Free Will. When he was done, he named them Adam and Lilith.

Filled with Jealousy, Gabriel stormed off. Michael apologized for his brother then ran off after him.  Lucifer turned to God and said, "Do not be upset with Gabriel. He tends to be jealous of me as well."

God smiled and his anger subsided. He turned his attention back to Adam and Lilith. He saw some Angels fawning over Lilith, for she was the most beautiful creature they had ever seen. The angels saw that her beauty rivaled that of their own, but they were not jealous. Instead, they playfully decided to give Lilith wings of her own!

God shook his head and turned to Lucifer who said, "She does wear them well. But look, now Adam is jealous."

"Oh no, not again," sighed God. "Free Will can be so taxing some times." Just then, Lilith and Adam had an argument and she flew away. Adam stared towards the Heavens and sang a sad song.

Lucifer sighed, "All alone, no one to Love."

God smiled as he heard the Song and put Adam to sleep. He took a bone from his ribs and fashioned Adam a new bride. "Waste not, want not," he joked. This new bride he named Eve. Adam thanked his God and sang his praises.

This lifted God's demeanor, "I like these Humans, but I am wondering about my gift of Free Will. Maybe I shouldn't have gone that far."

Lucifer anxious to play with the new Children asked God, "How about a test to see how well they handle their Free Will?" However, before God had the chance to answer him, Lucifer flew off to the Earth.

 

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"What Have You Done?" bellowed God at Lucifer upon his return from Earth.

"Wha- But I - I thought I would, um, test them," stammered Lucifer afraid of his Lord's anger.

"I did not Ask you, nor Command you to test them," He said. "And even if I agreed to a test, I would not have allowed you to Tempt them! Using Temptation is cheating; you tested nothing but their virginal ignorance! Now they have sinned! They knew they were not allowed to eat of the Fruit of Knowledge."

"Then why," Lucifer asked confused, "does the Apple exist?"

"It exists because Good and Evil exist," He explained. "When I created you and your brethren, I made you Good. But when I gave you Free Will, the possibility that you would choose to be Evil existed, because Evil exists.

"When I created the Humans and gave them Free Will, the Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil grew in the Garden of Eden. I wanted them to have Free Will but I did not want them to choose Evil over Good so I commanded them not to eat of the Fruit. Your Temptation has tainted them."

Worried about his fate and that of the Humans, Lucifer asked, "What's going to happen now?"

Frustrated, God replied, "I must punish them... and You. For Humanity, I punish them with Four Hardships."

Four Angels stepped forward to receive their Words; "Famine, Pestilence, War, and Death!"

The four Angels became somber, as they understood their duties. Lucifer, who had never known these Words, feared them and asked God, "When shall Humanity be visited by these Angels?"

"Throughout their existence -- however, all four mean that the Lifespan of a Human is now finite. I do not wish to remove Immortality from their grasp completely, so I will make them able to Copulate. For now, I cast them out of the Garden of Eden. There the Angels will visit them."

Lucifer absorbed the knowledge of these new Words... the very idea of a finite existence frightened Lucifer, yet the concept of Copulation intrigued him. At once he pitied and envied Adam and Eve. Then he realized his punishment was next.

"Lucifer," God said sternly, "you have Fallen from my Grace. As such, you are cast out of Heaven, such as I cast Adam and Eve out of the Garden."

Fear of his Fate turned into Hate behind Lucifer's eyes. He hated Humanity as a furious parent would hate his immature children. With a shortness to his voice he asked, "Where will I go? What would you have me do?"

God sensed that Lucifer was bordering that Ineffable line between Good and Evil, and He wept for what He had done. He steeled himself to accept Lucifer's Fate and said, "I care not where you go, as long as you do not stay here."

Lucifer grumbled, "I do not accept your punishment. I do not accept your statement that you would Love Humans more than Angels... more than ME! I Defy You! I Defy Your Word! I Defy Your Love!" Burning with rage, he shouted, "I would rather be the Master of Hell than a Servant of Heaven!"

God said, "So be it!"  With those words, Lucifer closed his eyes and Fell. He tumbled for what felt like an eternity, accelerating faster. As his speed reached terminal velocity, he burst into flames, and laughed as his halo fell away from him.

Back in Heaven, the Angels were stunned. They had watched and heard the bold statements between God and Lucifer. They mumbled to each other about the consequences. Michael and Gabriel returned from their repose to hear the commotion. They started to argue over who was right, more importantly, what was right. The other Angels began arguing about what had happened.

God was still reeling from Lucifer's Fall. The shouting of his Choir brought his attention back to the situation. God yelled, "Enough!" The silence quickly overcame the cacophony. God said, "When I gave you all Free Will, I knew this day should come. I now have two Creations of Mine with Free Will -- Humans and Celestials. I cannot watch over all of you. In fact, at the rate that Humanity is developing, I will need Angels to watch over them. Will you do this for me?"

The Archangels stepped forward. Michael spoke first, "My Lord, I am yours, Thy Will be done."

Gabriel spoke next, "My Lord, I am yours, Thy Will be done." In his heart, Gabriel cursed Humanity, but swore he would do as he was told. God sensed this, but knew Gabriel was loyal, for now at least.

Most of the rest of the Archangels followed suit. Other angels stood behind their archangels and took their Word and their Fate in their hands. The Choirs were aligned and ready for what Eternity would bring.

Those that sympathized and agreed with Lucifer also fell to the Abyss of Hell. There they joined Lucifer as he became Satan, "The Adversary", Lord of Darkness. The archangels that fell became his Princes and those angels that fell joined their Infernal Bands of Demons.

 

The Great War in Heaven Had Begun.

 

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"Oh, I got here
by killin' off all my friends.
I think I've figured it out:
my life begins when the fun ends.
I got my wings,
I'm free to go as I please.
Yeah, I got my wings
now nothing really pleases me
'til everything falls apart"
-- Dog's Eye View, from "Everything Falls Apart"

 

Even with a war in Heaven, life goes on in the Physical realm of Earth. Ever since Adam and Eve were tempted into committing the Original Sin, life has been finite. Four angels have been given the task of visiting the Earth and ensuring the cycle of life and death. They are War, Pestilence, Famine, and Death. They will be given special charges when the Seven Seals are broken, but that time has not yet come. In the meantime, they fulfill regular duties as required of them.

Since Humanity has spread to the extent that it has, these four angels have become Archangels with other angels below their charge. The fourth angel, the rider of the pale horse, has many working for him, since his charge requires him to take care of those who die of old age, accidents, homicides and suicides.

There are other angels that deal with death that don't work for any of these four. I am one of those few angels. It wasn't always that way. But then again, since I was once an angel of Mercy, I have been given a special charge.

In my present capacity, I have a role as half guardian angel, and half shepherd. I try to help people make the right decisions to prevent them from dying before their time. If I succeed, I help them to prepare for their ascension. If I fail, well, depending on the circumstances of their doom, they may be shepherded to one of two places.

As it happens, I have had many angelic professions. I have worked as a messenger, as a guardian, and as a shepherd. But, there was one time, when all of this was denied to me. Denied to me after my Fall from Grace. My Fall happened after the destruction of Sodom and
Gomorrah.

Abraham walked with God one day. This was one of the few times God didn't send a messenger angel, like myself. Anyway, God told Abraham that he was furious at the towns of Sodom and
Gomorrah because of their blasphemous ways. Abraham however had family living in
Sodom who were righteous, even if he agreed that the rest of the people were sinful. Abraham asked God, "Would you spare the town if there were 50 righteous people living there?"

God replied, "I would spare the city for the sake of 50 people."

Abraham realized that He was a fair and just God, but also realized there probably weren't 50 righteous people living there. In fact, beyond
Lot, his Wife, and their daughters, there were none. So, Abraham began to actually bargain with God, all the way down to his last offer.  "I will not ask again," Abraham said, "but would you save the town for the sake of 10 people?"

God hesitated, but because He knew Abraham had a personal stake in the fate of the town, he made a deal. "If there be 10 righteous people there, I shall spare the town. If there are less, it shall be destroyed."

Abraham knew at that point that this was the best he could do, so he agreed.  God on the other hand knew there were fewer than 10 righteous people, so he charged two angels with a special task.

I was one of those angels. He asked us to go to the town of
Sodom and find any righteous people. If there were more than ten, He would spare the town. But if he was right, and there were fewer, we were instructed to help them escape before the town was destroyed.

Upon arriving at the gates of Sodom, we found
Lot was waiting for us. No doubt a messenger angel was sent to let him know of our arrival. He let us in and told us that we could stay with him and his family before the morning when we were to survey the town for other faithful citizens.

With the rise of the morning sun, riotous knocking came upon
Lot's door.  All of the townsfolk, every single person, had surrounded that house. They were clawing on the walls, banging on the doors and windows, and trying their damnedest, literally, to break in. Those that weren't trying to get in were fornicating outside within sight of us. The rest were naked and demanded that
Lot send us "newcomers" out so that they might "know" us -- in this case, they wanted to rape us.

Lot would not send us out, in fact, he offered his own daughters to the throngs that we might be spared. His sacrifice was noted, even if it was fool-hearted. We decided that
Lot's family was truly the only people worth sparing. After dark, when the townsfolk had fallen asleep -- which was late because many of their orgies lasted well into the evening -- we helped
Lot's family escape.

As we were leaving, the other angel told
Lot and his family not to look back on the town. It was none of their concern anymore and they should not look back to that life. As we came to a hill overlooking the city,
Lot's wife turned around to watch the destruction of that unholy city. When she did so, God's wrath at her disobeying the angel was unleashed on her -- He turned her into a pillar of salt. I was totally distraught and upset over the punishment. After we escorted the rest of
Lot's family to their new home, I had an argument with the other angel.

"Do not be upset. God's will must be obeyed," he said.

"But He promised Abraham that
Lot's family would be spared," I yelled.

"Only if they were righteous in his eyes. He is the Judge of these tribes," he retorted.

"All she did was look back. She did not disobey God, she disobeyed you!"  To my shock, the angel that stood before me changed his visage into that of Yahweh, Lord Elohim, our God. I immediately threw myself to my knees.

"Now you know the truth," he said, his voice deeper and wiser. "I had to go there myself to see how they lived. I could pass no judgment otherwise."

"I understand, my Lord, but was her punishment truly necessary?"

"It was, she disobeyed me."

"Had she known who you were, I doubt she would have," I reasoned.

"Not true, in her heart of hearts, she was more concerned with the life she was leaving behind than the welfare of her family or with the fact that we had rescued her from the destruction," he said authoritatively.

Still, even knowing he could tell what was in her heart, I resisted the idea that God could be such a cold judge of a woman whose only sin was that she looked back. For one moment, she looked back. "My Lord," I continued, "how could you do this? What about
Lot and his daughters? What about Abraham?"

"They will go on. I have a covenant with them."

Then something stirred inside me, my frustration oozed from every celestial fiber of my being. I challenged Him, "What about me? You lied to me. You didn't need me to be here if you were coming to see for yourself. Why did you bring me along?"

"To test your resolve as well as that of
Lot and his family."

I was flabbergasted! "To test me?! What have I done to warrant such an exercise?"

"You have become more and more protestant of my judgments of late," he calmly stated.

I swallowed hard and said, "I may have voiced my opinion of how you handled Cain and the Flood but I never disobeyed you."

"True, but you have been distancing yourself from my Grace with every disparaging word. Your light is dependent on my Light. The more you disagree with me, the less my Light shines through you. If you don't watch yourself, you may find yourself in Lucifer's shoes."

Anger came from nowhere and I rebutted, "Is that a threat?"

He winced as he realized I was about to Fall, so he said, "No, it is an observation, my Child. I do not want you to Fall. Walk with me back to Heaven?"  Reassured by his demeanor, I joined him on our trek back to Heaven's Gate.

When we arrived, we were greeted by an unexpected guest standing outside the gates. The visitor smiled a truly evil grin and said, "So, how was your visit to my little home away from home?"

God replied, biting his tongue, "I knew you had something to do with their sinful appetites, Lucifer."

"On the contrary, Father," he sarcastically noted, "I was not I that gave them their lustful desires. That was your doing. I simply removed their inhibitions by showing them the way from your stifling, repressive Laws."

"And now I have shown them the consequences of disobeying my laws," He shouted.

"Oh bravo, the big bad God has shown his temper once again. And look how my army of Darkness grows with the added souls."

It was at that moment that I realized that God had played right into Lucifer's hands. What was worse was I actually enjoyed that knowledge.  That sweet ecstasy of knowing I was right and that God was wrong washed over me. I suddenly felt engorged with the warmth of believing that God had made a mistake. Moreover, he was played for a fool to further the cause of this stupid war. But, the true impact of that last thought didn't hit me until later. Somehow, I came to feel as if I could sympathize with the Devil.

So I Fell away, and as I Fell, I saw tears rolling from God's eyes, and I laughed.

 

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"Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste.
I've been around for a long, long year,
Stole many a man's soul and faith."
-- Rolling Stones, from "Sympathy For The Devil"

 

One of the first things I noticed about Hell was how infinitely dark it was. It was as dark as the empty space between Heaven and Earth -- "between the Moon and You" as Counting Crows recently put it. I spent a lot of time in that void. I am not sure if I was cold or hot, because I had never experienced temperature before that moment, but I was very uncomfortable.

"That will pass," came a voice in the distance. But I couldn't tell from which direction. It almost seemed to surround me, that voice, like the darkness itself.  "That would be a fair analogy," the voice answered my unspoken query. "For here, I am the Darkness."

The voice crooned to me. With simple words, he lulled the fear of where I was out of me. The extreme temperatures I felt seemed to pass, too. Then I saw Lucifer standing above me, his hand stretched out to offer me a chance to stand.

That was when I realized I was flat on my back on a surface that felt like a downy soft bed of nails. It was a physical contradiction, and it was only one of many I would find there in Hell. For example, even though I was enveloped in total darkness, and Lucifer was dressed in black, with no light shining on him, I could clearly see him in front of me.

I took his hand in mine and pulled myself up. He patted me on the back as I arose to his height. "It seems to me," he said, "that we could all use a little Mercy, my brother."

"I used to think so. I used to think Mercy was the most important thing in the Universe," I sighed.

"And yet, the Most Merciful Lord Above has just shown you that it isn't.  That Punishment is just as important." He paused, and then added with a sneer, "All the while calling it Justice."

"Justice," I coughed on the word. How could his God call killing
Lot's wife, Justice?

"What about the Flood? Sure, let's save a handful of humans and assorted animals from a flood meant to wash the sinners away?"

I added, "You mean drown thousands upon thousands of people. They could have found Salvation. Why would he only show mercy to Noah's family?"

"He doesn't understand Salvation. He forces his believers to do what he says, to follow his rules," he began.

"And if they don't, he floods them or destroys their cities. That can't be right!"

"It's not," he encouraged. He smiled and said, "We could use someone like you down here, to show us and Him what Mercy is." He paused long enough to let his words sink in, and then laid down the bargain, "Join us -- lead my armies with me. Together we'll knock on Heaven's door and show him how wrong he is."

He handed me a blood red rose that was so beautiful to behold. I stared at what was another physical contradiction. It was a rose perfectly perfumed and blossomed into maturity that seductively begged me to take it from Lucifer.  I grabbed it and felt the pain and pleasure of the razor sharp thorns as they burst into my celestial flesh and I bled light. As the light seeped from my hand, I could see the ranks of lost souls he had collected from God's wrath.

I put the deep red rose into my lapel and that was when I knew I had a job to do.

 

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"Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners Saints
As heads is tails, just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint"
-- Rolling Stones, from "Sympathy For The Devil"

 

The faces of the lost souls haunted me as I marshaled them together into troops. There was, of course, no organizing them. Chaos had to prevail down here. But at least everyone was accounted for. I spoke with each soul. I learned of their sins and how they were punished. But I didn't let my anger over their punishment dissuade me from my task. We had an appointment to keep.

Not every soul would confess their sins to me. In fact, most of the souls were to stay behind. The truly damned would not be able to join us.  Lucifer didn't mind leaving many behind. He knew it would be good for the morale of the other demons to have souls to torture.

So one night, we set out for Heaven. As the daylight came, all of us paused to adjust our eyes to the brightness of it. When the light of day gave way to the Light of Heaven, we charged towards Heaven.

Before we could reach Heaven's Gate, the Archangel Michael and God Himself stood in our way. There were no other angels or souls to defend their gates.  Michael ran up to Lucifer and flat out punched him. Lucifer put up a strong fight, but Michael was his equal in fighting. So eventually they tired of battle and stopped in order to rest.

I walked up to God and some of my anger welled up again, but I bit my tongue and said, "Have Mercy on these souls and let them enter Heaven." After I spoke the words, Lucifer yelled over to me, "Traitor!"

God ignored Lucifer's remark and asked, "Why should I?"

Calmly, I replied, "It is true that they have sinned. But they seek Salvation for their sins. Punishment is a course of action when people won't repent. But they realize that they were wrong, they have paid their dues. They seek your Forgiveness. Others in Hell will not repent, and they should stay there to be punished. But have Mercy on these souls and forgive them."

God straightened up and looked upon the faces of the lost souls before him.  He could sense the weight on their souls and that they truly wanted forgiveness. He opened the gates to them and shouted, "Embrace Hope All That Enter Here!" The cheers of thousands of freed souls rang out as they rushed into Heaven to receive their Reward.

After the last soul passed through, Michael stood up in front of the gates with a grim look on his face. Lucifer turned to God and sobbed, "Will you not show me the same Mercy?"

"Perhaps, one day, when you repent. But for now, you still are against me. You stole an angel from me, but he has returned to me now. Go Back To Darkness, Lucifer! "

As he fell away again to Hell, he laughed. Oh, how that laugh echoed and rang in my ears long after he disappeared. God turned to me then and stared at the rose that I wore. I stared at it and noticed that it had changed from a blood red blossomed rose into a pristine white rosebud.

I bent down on one knee and looked straight down. I begged, "Will you show me the same Mercy as those you gave Salvation?"

He laughed and said, "Their salvation is because of you. Know you this, you have passed your test. It is obvious that your salvation is warranted as well."

"However", he continued, "you now wear a Fallen Halo. It will be some time before I think we can trust each other perfectly, and I understand that. But, if you will work with me, you will be rewarded." It was then that the true revelation hit me. God was never fooled. He knew all along how to fool Lucifer into bringing many souls to their salvation. The scales were now balanced.

 

"I met God this afternoon ridin' on an uptown train
I said, 'Don't you have better things to do?'
He said, 'If I do my job what would you complain about?
So I let it go to Hell, now I'll have something to do.'
He said, 'I'll let it go to hell; does that sound familiar to you?'"
-- Dog's Eye View, from "Everything Falls Apart"

 

Her name was Rebecca. She was Romany gypsy by blood. Born under a blue moon she used to tell me. I met her one day as I was leaving Londinium. I failed again in my attempts to become a noble's jester. She had her old gypsy caravan just off the country road and she was seated in front of it, in the mud.

I rode up on my steed, Morning-Star, and asked her, "Good morrow, m'Lady. What fortunes should leave you here?"

"Funny you should ask that, sir, as it usually my job to see problems like this in advance. But in hindsight I suspect I pay more attention to others' fortunes than mine. My horse was struck lame and I just put her out of her misery, but now find myself with my own share."

"So m'Lady is in need of a horse. Where are you headed?" I asked.

"As far away from that loathsome town of cheap bastards named Londinium," she spat as she finished.

"Then it seems we are meant to travel the same road, and for similar reasons. Those arrogant fools wouldn't know humour if a hyena bit them in the arse! I am sure that my steed wouldn't mind the burden of your cart, if you would have my company with him."

She blushed and asked, "M'Lord, do you believe in fate?"

"I believe in Laughter, Luck, and Love. I suppose that my luck could be influenced by fate - perhaps as such as our meeting here."

She smiled a knowing little smirk that I'd come to know well over the years. She said, "I dreamt of a single star shining in the heavens... one that looked like the white mark on your steed's brow... a morning star."

I was struck speechless, one of few times. I realized then that she had the Sight and was of true Rom blood. In awe, I said, "M'Lady, it would please you to know that my horse takes to that name."

She smirked again and said, "Yes, I know... Donovan."

I nearly fell off my steed, and did so anyway for comic relief. When I picked myself up, I walked up to her and knelt down before her, took her hand and said, "M'Lady, you have me at a disadvantage. What name has the Heavens so wisely bestowed upon you?"

"I am Rebecca. Not such a remarkable name."

After kissing her hand gently, I said, "On the contrary, m'Lady Rebecca, its beauty is only exceeded by the lady herself. A truly remarkable name for a remarkable woman. I mean, I don't fall off my horse for just anyone - they usually have to pay me first." With that she laughed - a heavenly chime that only angels before had the pleasure to hear.

From that moment on, we traveled together, visiting towns and villages trying to bring some light into the dark times that surrounded them. She used to tell people's fortunes while I would amuse the crowd. She was my partner in life and love.

We traveled together for years. Every
new city was exciting for us both. We made love with every new town we visited. She was an incredible woman indeed. While we didn't stay long in any town we'd visit, we would visit some of them often. One of them, the townsfolk enjoyed our shows so much that we considered it home - and the folks always considered us almost as family.

In this town, the center of the community was a small tavern and inn. This is where I met Gwenovere. She always convinced the Innkeeper to rent, cheap or free, a room for Rebecca and I whenever we stayed in town. Rebecca and I considered Gwenovere a sister. From Gwenovere I learned the best gossip in town for material. Rebecca would always teach Gwenovere a new divination - first the Tarot, then the crystal sphere, and eventually Runes and Bones. She also taught her how to track the stars for the powerful Astrology.

But our traveling had to continue, so we would pack up and move on. One night, she told me she was with child. That was the happiest moment of my life. I promised her that I would love her forever and asked her to be my bride. At first, I thought she was actually going to refuse. She told me how Romany never married outside their blood - except in the most remarkable of circumstances. I told her again how remarkable she was and she smiled and said "yes".

We visited more towns in order to make enough money for a proper wedding. When we had enough, we decided to head back "home" where we knew they would love to share the ceremony with us. But on the road back, one night, a band of highwaymen attacked us. At knifepoint, one of them grabbed Rebecca and another beat me. When their comrade tore through the small cart and found our money I hoped they would leave. But things instead got worse.

They scared Morning-Star into running off, with the cart bouncing roughly behind. They really beat the living glory out of me and eventually knocked me out cold. While I was out, they held Rebecca down and raped her - then slit her throat. I came to waking many times throughout the following morning and into the day, and each time I tried to pull myself closer to Rebecca. When I finally saw the horror of her death, I tried to get up and walk around. But the pain shot through me like a red-hot poker.

That's when I heard the voices for the first time. In my delirium, I thought I could hear my beloved's voice. "Donovan..." it softly called to me. At first I thought she might still be alive. But upon touching her cold, rigid body, I realized it could not be. But then I heard her again, "My love... for you... sweet Donovan... will not die." With those words, I passed out again. Now, however, I knew I was dying. I looked forward to being with my Rebecca in Heaven Above.

Liquid fire.  Burning my lips as the droplets trickled down.

I licked at the searing sweet liquid, and found myself craving more. I opened my eyes and was horrified by the source - a wrist hovering above my mouth. "Good, you're awake," a sweet voice in the darkness said. I grabbed the wrist and suckled it like a teat filled with mother's milk. "To you, I shall be your new Mother, my poor Donovan. Drink up, but you'll have to stop soon."

But I didn't want to stop. She eventually pushed me away and said, "That's enough for now. Soon I will teach you how to feed on your own." With those words, I could feel her blood inside me. Changing me. Healing me. Making me thirsty for more. Then my fangs extended and I whined, "I want more... yes, teach me, Mother."

"Later," she said. "Now, we must find shelter before the sun rises. Follow me," and so I did, but not before looking back at what remained of my beloved Rebecca. As I followed my Mother back, I asked her, "What about Rebecca?"

"I'm sorry, my child. I could not save your gypsy rose. She was dead when I came across your scent. But you, my child, were just at the brink. I saved you, my Jester child. You have a Gift from me - Eternity - to release your cacophonous laughter unto the world. Prank them, trick them, love them, hate them. But most importantly, make them all die laughing, my sweet."

That was the first of my lessons from my Mother. We ran deep into the forest to an area where the trees were so thick and tall that no sunlight dared shine down upon us. In there I found Morning-Star and the cart, amazingly still intact. I walked up to pet Morning-Star but he reared up at the sight of me. "Your pretty star-faced one fears you now, but I will teach you to how to get close to him again."

She did, as she also taught me how to hunt with stealth. She taught me how to contact her whenever I needed her. She even told me the old stories of her kind, my kind now. Eventually the time came for me to leave my Mother behind, riding solo in the cart with Morning-Star in the reins as loyal to me as ever.

As I rode off, I couldn't help but think of Rebecca and how empty the caravan seemed without her. Just then, I heard Rebecca’s voice again, saying, "I will be here with you, always, my love." It was then that I realized what Mother meant about her Gift. For love has made me deranged, but in my madness, I am closer than ever to my beloved Rebecca.

Darkness.
Silence.
Peace.

For me, these things are inseparable. For only when I find the first two elusive prizes can the latter be found.

My peace is shattered by the piercing squeals of my alarm clock. I find my shotgun, which is always laid beside my bed loaded, and aim blindly towards the source of the offending noise. The bright orange flash quickly cuts through the night and stops the alarm's droning. I lose more alarm clocks that way.

Don't get me wrong; I don't enjoy shooting at my property, but that smoking pile of electronic bits in the corner destroyed a perfectly good wet dream. I hate it when that happens.

Not to mention that I now have one royal headache and my stomach feels like performing its impression of
Mount Vesuvius. It must be time to visit my altar to the Porcelain god. Maybe my prayers will be answered tonight.

Hah. Yeah right. No gods have answered my prayers lately. If they did I'd be dead now. I'd rather be dead than this... undead thing. Yeah, I'm a vampire -- one of these days I'll have to accept it. But probably not tonight. For now, I just have to remember not to drink from a lush, no matter how easy prey they are.

Ah, there's that feeling again. All too familiar it is to me -- that cold, gnawing sensation. The "Hunger Pains From Hell" I call them -- that's probably not far from the truth, depending on who you get your truth from. That cold emptiness can only be sated on warm blood. And satisfaction will have to come soon, or this headache will be the least of my worries.

Glowing.
Flashing.
Enticing.

The night is full of electric lights that line the streets and storefronts. Neon signs declare the brands of beers on tap, the level of nudity of the entertainment, and the hours that the places are open.

Tonight I choose to pass those signs to approach one that declares "
Battle of the Bands" on one line and "$500 Tonight" underneath. Some music. Some dancing. Some underage girl out past curfew and couldn't give a damn. Sounds like a perfect Monday night.

My last necessary breath was taken two years ago, when I was 23 -- that was also when I renewed my driver's license. For now, it fools those that require identification -- like the bouncer here at the door. I give him the fiver required for cover and he stamps my hand with an ultraviolet mark. I also take the ballot he hands me and stuff it in my jeans' pocket.

A rough, loud, and annoying heavy metal band is ranting on stage -- if you could call it a band.  It's more like one drummer drowned out by four guitarists trying to outdo each other and a lead singer that desperately needs a lozenge.

Because of the noise on stage, my headache starts to pick up again, but I try to push beyond the pain. The beautiful brunette tending the bar sees me walk in and sit down on the stool furthest away from the sorry excuse for music. She has to yell over the chaos to say, "Hello handsome... the name's Michelle. Can I get you anything?"

"Earplugs!" I shout back. She smiles an angelic smile, but if she laughed I didn't hear her. She returns, "I mean to drink."

Another time, another place, I'd lay her down in leather 'n lace, but for now I decide to say, "A Virgin Mary... and no celery!"

"Sure thing, coming up!" she yells back. She turns around and walks off to fix the drink. Meanwhile, the group of long-haired freaks on stage finally give up in their attempt to entertain. Surprisingly, the rest of the people present are applauding them -- I hope it was pity that encouraged their collective tasteless display.

Michelle walks back to me carrying a tall glass of a red liquid, but it isn't tomato juice -- and thank God it isn't that Clamato crap -- but something more welcoming.

Michelle smiles and says, "This should help that headache of yours, sugar. It's on me."

Impressive... how does she know I have a headache. Is my body language screaming out my pain?

She grins knowingly. Aha, that beautiful smile reveals two sharp, extended canine teeth. Ironically, that sets me at ease.

I return a similar smile and introduced myself, "My name is Donovan, but please call me Don."

She extends her hand and says, "Then call me Max."

As I kiss her hand, I crook an eyebrow as if to ask about the nickname. "It's a long story," she answers.

Taking a sip from the drink, I'm startled by the purity of the salty, crimson liquid. "Thank you for the drink, m'Lady. I expect my headache will disappear with the aid of this drink."

She laughs, this time I can hear the charming laugh, saying, "You're welcome -- it isn't easy finding a virgin named Mary anymore."

I was reminded of the dangers of drinking and laughing as some blood almost burst from my nose when I heard the joke. She laughs again and hands me a bar napkin. I nod my thanks and wipe my bloody nose.

I begin to drink again and after a gulp I ask, "If there is anything I can do in return for this...?"

She leans over the bar as if she's going to whisper and the maddening scent of lilacs in bloom overpowers me. She smiles and says, "Well, if you wear the leather, I'll wear the lace..."

I smile, acknowledging her mental gift -- I only know a couple vampires with the Sight, and I'm not one of them -- and I find myself looking forward to what else she can do. I ask, "When do you get off... work, I mean?"

"The place will close after the last band plays and the winner is announced. I'm outta here after that. Should be no later than 1 AM."

I took a pen lying on the bar and wrote my address on another bar napkin. "Meet me there at 1:30?"

"It's a date. Should I bring anything?"

I reply, "No, I'll take care of everything," and then I take another draught of the not-so-freshly-squeezed drink.

"Well, the last band is almost finished setting up. These guys are great."

"Oh no, it isn't another trasher band, is it?" I whine.

"No. This is an alternative band -- my personal favorite. They play here a lot. I'm rooting for them, because they deserve to win."

Cautiously I ask, "Yeah? What's their name?"

"The Narrow Way. I think you'll really like them."

I take another draught from the drink and say, "They're cool as long as they don't bring my headache back."

She spied an empty table in the center of the room and suggests I take that seat for the most enjoyment. She points, "Go ahead and take your drink and enjoy yourself. I'll see you later tonight."

Leaning over the bar again, she kissed me full on the lips. Her tongue playfully stroking my teeth causing them to extend instinctively. My tongue felt her canines extend as well.

Picking up my drink I make my way over to a table that only has two chairs at it. I sit facing the stage and listen to the band tune their guitars. I think I drank the whole thing by the time the drummer began to test his setup. Tapping my right foot, I realize that this drummer can make his testing of the setup entertaining.

Now this is curious... everyone is walking off stage, except for the drummer. Now the lights are dimming. Did I miss something?

In the darkness, the drummer starts a steady beat. Behind him, some lights begin to flash and alternate. His black beard and hair reflect the colored lights as they change and shine down on him and his drums. This solo of his is very... "stirring" is the only word I can think of now.

While the drummer is still playing, another guy walks on stage and picks up a red bass guitar as a light shines down on him and his Beatles-reminiscent haircut... and he starts to play a cool background rhythm.

Now a guy with wild blonde curls walks on stage and picks up a woodgrain guitar, and a light beams down upon him. He adds a characteristic rhythm to the mix.

Then a younger blonde guy, his hair cut short and neat, walks on and picks up a yellow guitar, and smiles to a lady in the audience as a light picks him out of the darkness. He adds the occasional riff to the building beat.

A wiry man, dressed in black with a black hat which has a silver ankh pinned to the front of it steps up onto the stage and grabs the standing microphone. When the light shines on him, he starts singing.

A pretty blonde in a tight black, or is it dark blue, dress steps on stage and stands by her keyboard. The light shining down on the young guitarist that she is standing next to is wide enough to illuminate them both as she starts to sway to the music. She seems to be enjoying the others before she needs to start playing the keyboard in front of her.

As the song plays out, I realize why Max loves this band. It is obvious to me that they are playing their best tonight and can taste that $500 and the chance to move on to the finals and the big dough.

I reach into my pocket and pull out the ballot. Damn, I don't have a pen. Wasn't there one at the bar?

Max smiles a knowing grin as I approach. She hands me a pen and says, "I told you so."

After I finish marking an 'X' next to "The Narrow Way" on the ballot, I hand her back the pen and walk over to the ballot box to deposit my vote.

As I walk back over to the table I was sitting at before, I see a lovely redhead -- a pretty young thing. She must have gotten in with a fake ID because there's no way she can be much older than 19. She doesn't look like jailbait, but this is a 21 and over show.

Taken aback, I ask her if the seat next to her is taken -- I decide not to point out that I was just sitting there -- I may be dead, but I'm still a gentleman. She smiles and says, just loud enough, "No, please."

She made eye contact and quickly broke it as her sweet smile curled into something knowingly sinister.

This must be my lucky night. Two lovely ladies, though this one was still alive. Sitting down next to her, I joined the applause for the band as they finished the first song and smoothly bridged it to the next one.

I said, "My name's Don. What's yours?"

"Jennifer. Nice to meet you, Don."

Jennifer, eh? Well, that shoots down my theory that all girls named Jennifer had to be blonde. Oh well, another conspiracy flushed down the tubes. I kissed her extended hand and said, "My pleasure."

I looked into her lonely, emerald green eyes and asked, "Would you like to join me later tonight?"

I could hear her heartbeat slow down slightly as the suggestion was made. She smiled, lost in my eyes, "I'd love to, but I want to stay and hear the guys play my song."

"Your song?" I ask with curiosity.

"Well, a song named 'Jennifer's Romance'. It's my favorite and they usually close a show with it... and hopefully its fitting tonight."

"Well, I agree we should stay. This is the first time I've heard them and I'm impressed. As for the appropriateness, I certainly hope it is," I said leaning close to her so she could hear me better. Whatever perfume she's wearing has a kick to it -- I might even say I felt a spark as I leaned closer.

In that awkward moment when two people make the decision whether or not it is time for the first kiss, she appeared confident. She leaned in just a little closer letting me make the final decision. I moved in and she smiled, kissing me for the promise of romance. A closed kiss at first, we kissed again with more passion. I could feel her tongue probing around and strongly controlled the natural urge to extend the canines. I can't let her know about them... at least not yet.

Singing.
Dancing.
Kissing.

I thoroughly enjoyed the evening and had a prize on my arm to show for it. Together, Jennifer and I anxiously awaited the names of tonight's winners. When The Narrow Way was announced as the winner, genuine applause of congratulations filled the small bar. Besides the excitement of having a talented band win, Jennifer gave me a couple more reasons to be ecstatic. She hugged me close, close enough that I could easily tell that she wasn't wearing a bra, and even gave me a soft grab from behind. I knew that she had more than romance on her mind -- but I also knew that it was the furthest thing from mine. Though if I were still human, I think I could fall in Love with her easily -- blindly mistaking Lust for Love.

Taking her hand in mine, we walked out to my car. I unlocked the passenger's side door for her and closed it after she got in. As I walked around to the driver's side I heard her unlock my door from the inside for me. After I got inside and we put on our seat belts -- yeah, old habits die hard, especially the good ones -- I turned on the headlights and started the car.

As I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, she noticed that my car was a convertible. She began to unbutton her blouse, top-down, and asked in a mock-innocent voice, "Can you put the top down?"

Now I don't mind the cold air, but I asked her, "The night air is cold, are you sure?"

Slowly rubbing the exposed area of her chest, she moaned, "Yes, I need something to cool me off anyway." Then she bit her lower lip.

The incredible thing is that she isn't drunk -- I made sure of that. She is here of her own free will and that only makes what I have to do tonight more pleasurable.

I agreed to retract the ragtop and engaged the mechanism. She watched the roof of my car disappear behind her and marveled at the stars in the sky. She moaned again as she thrilled to the freezing, rushing air surround her, casting her long red hair behind her. She looked heavenly as the moonlight showered her.

But it isn't divine inspiration that's encouraging her to slowly move her left hand up and down my right thigh. My foot couldn't help but add acceleration as a reflex. Of course by now I'm as hard as a rock and she noticed.

"My God..." was all she said. She took a deep breath and added, "How far away do you live?"

"Not far, Jenn. In fact, right around this corner." A mischievous grin appeared on her face as anticipation caused her to shiver.

As I pulled into my driveway, she gasped when she saw my house. It's a small two-story house with desert landscaping in the front yard. The yellow porch light contrasts against the off-white exterior painted stucco walls.

Opening the car door for her, I noticed that two more buttons had been undone. Her blouse is loose on her now and showing a good amount of cleavage.

As I walk to my front door, she's walking behind me, rubbing my chest from behind, lightly placing kisses on my neck. I let us in and ask her to stand by the staircase. I close the door, throw the keys, my wallet, and my watch off to the side desk. I smile and ask, "May I?"

She knew what I wanted to do and I think she almost pissed her pants when I said, "I always wanted to do this."

I gently sweep her off her feet, cradling her in my arms. Wrapping her arms around my neck she continues to kiss me where she left off. Cautiously, I carry her up the stairs to my bedroom.

I lay her down on my bed and slowly crawl on top of her. She's pulling my sweater and undershirt together over my head and caressing my chest as I finish the last three buttons of her blouse. Then I undo two more buttons -- those on our respective blue jeans.

Running my hands through her silky red hair as I gently kiss each and every freckle on her exposed skin. She comments on how cold I am, but I explain that away as being due to driving with the top down -- I lie and tell her she's cold, too. She's not, she's red hot -- warm blood pumping through her veins, arteries and capillaries.

I started to slip my jeans off when I felt a slight draft. I smile and say, "Jennifer... meet Max," and then roll off of her. As a look of confusion crosses her face, it's replaced by fear as Michelle materializes from mist right on top of her.

Before Jennifer has a chance to scream, Michelle covers her mouth and pins her down so she couldn't squirm away. Michelle smiles at me and says, "Hello, sugar. Did you enjoy the band?"

I smile and say, "Yeah, they were great. How did that song go? 'It wasn't her choosin' to be so beautiful...'"

Then, mimicking the lead singer's dramatic pause, Max and I kiss... and then shout, "SO WHAT!"

Our mutual arousal causes our fangs to emerge and we each take a bite into Jennifer. I chose her right wrist, while I left Max the treat -- the carotid artery in the neck.

Jennifer tried again to scream under Max's firm hand, but to no avail. Eventually, she became too weak to scream, to squirm... to breathe. The two of us feasted on her blood until she had none left to give.

Max kissed me again and I loved the taste of blood from her lips. When she stopped, I asked her, "So, what kept you? I thought I was actually going to have to... you know..."

She made a sour face and said, "Eww, how revolting... pity seduction works so well, though. I stayed behind to get autographs from the band members."

With a smirk I admit, "Cool... OK, that's fair."

A mischievous thought crossed my mind so I said, "Well, while I've got her here I have to find out something."

Michelle slipped off the dead girl and as I pulled Jennifer's jeans down I saw that she wasn't wearing underwear either.

Michelle laughed and said, "Looks like she was ready for anything... too bad you found her first."

"Yeah, but this also proves my theory."

Confused, Michelle asks, "What's that?"

"That all girls named Jennifer are blondes... it must be a law or something."  Michelle laughed and then we kissed again.